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Woooah. Fuckin', shit is different and new. Not with Ely anymore, got my heart broken, broke a heart or two, and got strung along a few times.

Back in Jackson with mommadukes!

Life is chugging along, you know.


Guise I am not dead. I am not.

I am awesome, is what I am. I moved into an apartment with my Elyface in Sayreville which is awesome because it is not my mom's house and not his mom's house. YES.

We are really, really poor. BUT I AM OKAY WITH THAT. YES.

Life rules.

I think I'm far luckier than I percieve.

I see the posts here by friends and people I care about. I hear the stories, the complaints... and most of them seem to be the same. And I don't have that. I can't tell them I know exactly how it feels... because I don't.

I must be one of the luckiest people on earth. I have freedom, and lots of it. I'm not really tied down, and it's wonderful, as hard as this can be sometimes.

Sometimes I wish I could just share it with you.

Nights like yesterday make me appreciate everything I have... nights can be so wonderful. Nights can be so fucking good.
everybody has a birthday coming up or just passed! happy birthday everyone!

also happy birthday me! i'm no longer going to be a teenager as on this coming sunday. fuckin' weird.
who ever thought that being a social butterfly would make you feel like a goddamned pariah?

no, that's cruel, it's not that, it's just being too different anymore. getting stupider and more wise to the world, less book smart, more street smart. i'm getting dumber in some respects and it's alienated me.

i miss you, you know. each and every one of you regardless of how you may have made me feel at some point, and regardless of how shitty i may have treated you. nothing is ever one sided.

i don't think it's something we can ever have back, though. we can try but...

who knows. it's not in the cards.

take your success and be happy, i'll take my failures and make the best of it.
i hope, at least, that we're all enjoying life in our own ways! it's all we could ever wish for, happiness despite everything.

i still love you, you know.

not regret! just wistfulness

i share the sentiment.

in other news, reconnecting with certain people, certain problems solved-- some inner demons vanquished. hooray!

saw world/inferno recently. hooray!

met a new awesome friend at that show! hooray!

bouncing souls in ... 2 days! hooray!

birthday next weekend! ...hooray? i won't be a teenager anymore. turning twenty. this is very strange. i know not what to make of it.
will i be an adult all of a sudden? weird.

uh, probably tattoo soon, hooray!

lots of hoorays. many hoorays. awesome. some not so good things but nothing major enough to, as the kids like to say, "harsh my mellow."

things are wonderful despite all of that

in a reference to a post by a friend

once in a while i am the furthest from infinite.

but i find myself feeling the right way more and more often.

when i'm exploring, when i'm not even myself anymore with the ecstasy of doing what i love
at a show
fulfilling my wanderlust
just being to be, not trying for anything

i feel as if i am, indeed, infinite.

i've regained my childlike wonder and i will never, ever let it go.

care to join me?

i lose track of things to say

all the time, i have so much to say and no words to put them in, it's devastating.


Writer's Block: Comfort Food

When times are tough or you're feeling down, what's the one food you can count on to make you feel better?

chocolate, and my mother's ham casserole.
and maybe some hot cocoa.

Dec. 30th, 2008

You know, this is getting ridiculous. How can one accustomed to bouncing about and being homeless be a domestic?

Haha punk rock domestics, prd.com all the way.

Yeah one of the things I got most excited about when I realised I'm moving into a house Monday is that holy crap I can make stuff for the house. So I'm a busy little bee, crocheting dishcloths and trivets and the like.

I'm fucking retarded.