I experience a certain level of paranoia sometimes regarding some friends.

Some friends will drop me over petty bullshit.

Some friends will treat me like an outsider and a piece of shit when I'm around them and complain and appear to hold grudges against me when I can't make it to them because I can't afford the gas. And then speak of it plainly in front of me as if I won't get it. Perhaps, though, this is all just in my head, part of the paranoia. Regardless, as you laugh at the supposed irony, I smile cynically as you confirm what I always believed.

I no longer belong where I once did; diverging paths lead loved ones away from each other. Every time I see any of you I'm so excited beforehand and leave feeling despised and unwanted. And yet I keep putting myself through it, because I so badly want back what we all had before we all moved apart. Not this. Never this.

I am above this. I am made of love and no one can stop me through any of their childish swipes.

Again and again and again I allow other to stab me in the back and at this point, it's over. New friends are made and love remains. Only love!